January 2000

Week of

January 19, 2000

Dear Journal,

After almost 3 months of no communication, I had a brief discussion with someone I once called a friend....someone I would have trusted my life with. I never thought he was capable of hurting anyone. But tonight he hurt me deep. He spoke so ill of me, as though I was lower than dirt. The whole encounter was an attack on my whole being....who I was...in his eyes. I cried myself back into reality. I think I have tried to create an image of myself that was so unreal and incomplete...but if he knew the missing pieces of the puzzle I call life, I would have suffered more.

~Katherine

Week of

January 13, 2000

Dear Journal,

It is a new year. I feel lost.

~K

Week of

November 25, 1999

Dear Journal,

The day after Thanksgiving. I want to shop. Damn. I have to work. I am quiting by the way. You know, like everything I've done in my life: my first job, martial arts, highschool and my college classes, my career,  and anything that ever posed as a threat to my very existence.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I don't know what I want in my life. This is not a cry for help. Leave me as I am. I need to figure this out on my own.

~K

Dear Journal,

Thanksgiving. What am I thankful for?

Family and friends (of course)

music,

art --especially Klimt's The Kiss painting and Picasso's The Dream, 

lips for kissing and arms for hugging,

those little marshmallows I love so much,

lollipops,

scented candles,

thick blankets,

running shoes,

the internet,

the human ability to make mistakes --God knows I've learned so much.

~Katherine Rose

Week of

November 1, 1999

Dear Journal,

He is making it easier for me to forget my little secret.

~K

Dear Journal,

I am starting to question the existence of God. You see, if God is love....then I must be missing God.

~K

Dear Journal,

I start back to work this saturday. I look forward to working with my mother...it definitely will not be easy but I'm excited.

~K

Dear Journal,

It has been months since I updated my site. I have been drowning in school work, I just haven't found the time.

~K

September 1999

Week of

September 20, 1999

Dear Journal,

I saw myself in the mirror today, I looked tired...from school, work, family...I don't know. I just want to take a nice long sleep and rejuvenate myself.

~K

Week of

September 13, 1999

Dear Journal,

I remember my first kiss...I long for the feeling of holding someone for the first time, gazing in their eyes and planting the softest kiss on their lips...Sometimes I forget  just how important those little things are.

~K

Dear Journal,

Friends have been wondering where I am...I have been in seclusion these past two weeks. I haven't been much fun to be around with...

~K

Dear Journal,

My life has been like hell these past days. I have been struggling with school and have had little time for myself....

~K

August 1999

Week of August 31, 1999

Dear Journal,

Working on my car. I don't even remember the last time I cleaned it. hahaha. Went out with my cousins to eat at the Thai food restaurant close to our place. Yum-yum. I recommend the Rand nah and Pork Sate.

~Kary

Dear Journal,

Went dancing this saturday. I wish that our little gang was complete, it just wasn't the same.

"Jo, you are such a gentleman..."

~Kary

Week of August 23, 1999

Dear Journal,

I'm having one of those days...nothing seems to be going right...It's probably the heat...or maybe I'm having a burnout. I don't know...

~K

Dear Journal,

     I just drove a friend to the brink of insanity...I am too much to handle...hahahaha. Ah well.

~K

Dear Journal,

I always say "I'll keep on touch" but I never do. It's horrible, I know. I saw an old classmate at school today. We were friends through 7th and 8th grade. I didn't know what to say. And the coward that I am, I hid from her. Duh.

~K

Dear Journal,

Dear Erinne,

I miss you, Erinne. I should have called. I should have written. I should have visited you. I have never forgotten you. Never. If I can only find you...

~K

Dear Journal,

I have some new ideas for the site! Yeay! I'll go to work as soon as I can.

~K

Week of August 16, 1999

Dear Journal,

Desperately seeking SLEEP...help!

~K

Dear Journal,

I went to a small get-together with some friends. We were up most of the night. *yawns*  I seriously need some sleep. I am so tired.

~K

Dear Journal,

It's Friday. I finally have some time to breathe. Now what  do I do? I can't decide. Update this site? Nah. Too much work. Call friends? Hhmm. Too emotionally draining.  Maybe get some sleep...I haven't had any sleep this week.

~K 

Dear Journal,

What does it mean when someone says he's infatuated with you? Is that a compliment? That this guy you hardly know would like you based on the little information you've given him. Or is it an insult? That he is simply infatuated. Not inlove

~K

Dear Journal,

I can't stand it. He has to tell her. I just know he loves her. "Tell her!"  Dammit. You both deserve to be happy. No names. It's suppose to be a secret.

~K

Dear Journal,

    I started school this week. I am exhausted! I have to go to two different colleges to finish all my prerequisites. I hope I don't run out of patience.

~K

Week of August 9, 1999

Dear Journal,

I saw Mirainga perform today. They were great! I love small venues. You really get to know the band and the crowd. I was very comfortable there.

~K

Dear Journal,

     I have exactly one week before the fall semester begins.....I hope to have my website up before then. Started a novel by Anne Rice --Violin. Of course, half-way through it, I cried.....just like in every other romantic book I've read. It's so different from the Vampire Chronicles. I think I'll give it as gifts this Christmas. I wonder how the book ends...should I sneak a peek?

~K